Oh, How Romantic: X Turns Into a Digital Dumpster Fire of Love!
Brace yourselves, folks, because X has apparently decided to personally introduce me to the internet’s finest bottom-feeders. I’m innocently scrolling through my feed when BOOM – there she is: Hazel, the queen of sketchy pickup lines, straight out of a shady 90s chatroom nightmare.
Feast your eyes on this gem:
Hazel,
“Anytime, anywhere. Find your girl and make hot love together! X User Invitation Code【c4ucvg】 Get free nude chat access!”
Link: b47t.site/l/dzeABoei (Yeah, sure, I’ll click that right after I win the lottery!)
Joined: May 2025 (probably thawed out from a digital deep freeze just in time for this masterpiece)
Following: 5 (who are these brave souls?)
Followers: 1 (a lost fan or just another bot?)
Distance: 3.47 miles (great, my neighbor’s dealing in spam romance now!).
Sorry, maybe I’m old-school, but “free nude chat access” sounds less like a love story and more like a one-way ticket to a virus that turns my laptop into a flashing casino ad. And why, oh why, is this garbage landing in my DMs? Hazel, darling, I’m not your target audience – unless you’re looking for someone to frame your bio as a warning against bad life choices.
The message? Pure poetry!
I won’t quote it, mainly because I’m worried my phone might self-destruct if I read it again. Let’s just say it was a mix of “click here to ruin your life” and “why haven’t you downloaded a virus yet?”.
And seriously, is this the new wave? First, these “Hazel” bots with their shady links, and next, we’ll probably get casino spammers promising I’ll be a millionaire with one click. Or maybe it’s already those fake Google apps posing as “hot singles in your area”? Who knows, maybe X is being rebranded as the internet’s red-light district.Here’s hoping
What do you think?
Feast your eyes on this gem:
Hazel,
@green_benj13577
“Anytime, anywhere. Find your girl and make hot love together! X User Invitation Code【c4ucvg】 Get free nude chat access!”
Link: b47t.site/l/dzeABoei (Yeah, sure, I’ll click that right after I win the lottery!)
Joined: May 2025 (probably thawed out from a digital deep freeze just in time for this masterpiece)
Following: 5 (who are these brave souls?)
Followers: 1 (a lost fan or just another bot?)
Distance: 3.47 miles (great, my neighbor’s dealing in spam romance now!).
Sorry, maybe I’m old-school, but “free nude chat access” sounds less like a love story and more like a one-way ticket to a virus that turns my laptop into a flashing casino ad. And why, oh why, is this garbage landing in my DMs? Hazel, darling, I’m not your target audience – unless you’re looking for someone to frame your bio as a warning against bad life choices.
The message? Pure poetry!
I won’t quote it, mainly because I’m worried my phone might self-destruct if I read it again. Let’s just say it was a mix of “click here to ruin your life” and “why haven’t you downloaded a virus yet?”.
And seriously, is this the new wave? First, these “Hazel” bots with their shady links, and next, we’ll probably get casino spammers promising I’ll be a millionaire with one click. Or maybe it’s already those fake Google apps posing as “hot singles in your area”? Who knows, maybe X is being rebranded as the internet’s red-light district.Here’s hoping
@X
stays awake and isn’t daydreaming about #Grokipedia while the bots take over. My advice? Don’t click any links unless you want your antivirus software to have an existential crisis. Stay sharp, people – and maybe invest in a spam filter for your soul.What do you think?
- Got any of these bots sliding into your DMs?
- Should I dig up more examples of this digital insanity?
