The Gift Card Preacher: A Spanish Elon Musk and His Holy Scam Crusade

Oh, buckle up, dear readers of TheDarkSideOfX, because we’re diving back into the cesspool of fake Elon Musks with a fresh, infuriating chapter of The Gift Card Preacher! This saga, first spilled on April 17, 2025, just got a sequel nobody asked for—starring a particularly delusional scammer who I’m convinced was a Spanish Elon impersonator, given his occasional slip into Español. This guy didn’t just exploit my pain; he turned it into a full-blown telenovela of scams, complete with holy platitudes and demands for gift cards from my hospital bed. Grab your popcorn—this one’s a wild ride.

It all kicked off on February 23, 2025, when @elonmusk20091 slithered into my X DMs with the classic, “Thanks for being a fan, how’s the weather?” (12:02). Charming, right? Except I was five days out of the hospital, barely holding it together after an “incident” that left me bedridden, jobless, and under strict doctor’s orders to avoid stress (12:04). Did this fake Elon care? Pfft. He barreled on, asking about my “occupation job” (12:02) and herding me to Telegram (12:09). I laid it out clear as day: “I’m not buying Bitcoin, Tesla, or your shady membership card. Others have tried and failed” (12:06). Did he listen? Nope. This guy had the reading comprehension of a brick wall.

On Telegram, he earned his title: The Gift Card Preacher. This genius demanded I buy a €100 gift card—first Walmart, then Apple—to “invest” in his magical platform that’d supposedly net me €1800 in two days (March 6, 2025, 15:09). Walmart? In Germany? I laughed through my pain and told him, “Buddy, Walmart’s been gone from Germany since 2006” (15:00). Undeterred, he pivoted to Apple gift cards, instructing me to “go to the supermarket” (20:37). Newsflash, Preacher: Apple cards aren’t a thing for “investments” here, as I confirmed online and with my niece in the States (15:59-16:00). I was broke—accounts overdrawn or empty (14:58)—but did he care? Nope. “Go to the supermarket,” he droned (15:03), ignoring my inability to even access my funds (15:04). I vented, “Why does nobody read what I write on the internet?” (15:12). His response? Called me “stubborn” (15:15) and claimed he was “helping” me recover money I’d lost to other scams. The audacity!

What made this slimeball extra vile was his fake Christian shtick. While I was in the hospital, battling fever, surgeries, and feeling like a “monster” (March 11, 2025, 12:00), he sprinkled “Pray to God” (March 15, 2025, 18:30) and “God will protect you” (March 22, 2025, 11:28) like some budget televangelist. I’d lost my faith—“I don’t know what to believe anymore” (March 15, 2025, 19:02)—and he weaponized that, preying on my despair. At my lowest, I wrote, “Maybe I’ll stop taking the pills so it’s over faster… or take them all at once” (March 6, 2025, 15:21). His response? Crickets. Just more gift card nagging.

Fast forward weeks later, and this Spanish Elon (I’m calling it—he slipped into Spanish with my bestie, so I’m sticking with it) wasn’t done. While I was recovering from yet another surgery, he pinged me and my best friend, asking where I was (hospital, duh). A day post-op, I was in no mood to deal with his nonsense. My friend, bless her, jumped in like a superhero. This guy had the gall to think I’d hobble out of my hospital bed to send him an Apple gift card. My friend shut him down with a glorious, “NO!” And what did Spanish Elon do? He threw a tantrum in ALL CAPS: “GEH WEG!” (Go away!)—as if she was the problem, chilling on her own couch. Then, the cherry on top: he threatened to report her to the “Cyperpolizei” (yes, he spelled it like that). Spoiler: the cyberpolice never showed. Shocker.

In the end, my friend and I blocked this gift-card-begging, fake-holy Elon on both Telegram and X. my girlfriend  and I reported him to the German and American police, but—surprise, surprise—nothing’s changed. X, are you asleep at the wheel? This Gift Card Preacher is still out there, peddling his scams and fake prayers. So, a word of warning: steer clear of @elonmusk20091 and his ridiculous gift card crusade. Don’t let his crocodile tears or “God will protect you” nonsense fool you. #ScamAlert #XNeedsToDoBetter

Disclaimer: All details are based on my personal experiences, chat logs, and the sheer absurdity of this scammer’s persistence.

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