Tadaa, I’m Back with the TeslaTroll Saga! 👸
Dear readers,
Curtsies with flair—yep, I’ve been offline for a bit. Health stuff, personal chaos, you know the drill. But I’m back, ready to serve you a fresh episode from The Adventures of a Thousand Elon Musks. Today’s star? A prime specimen I’ve dubbed TeslaTroll, who graced my inbox on April 24, 2025. Buckle up—it’s a wild ride!
Another one of the billion “Elons” on X slid into my DMs with the usual fanboy nonsense: “I’m your biggest star, bla bla.” Five minutes of X-texts later, he’s pushing me to switch to Telegram. Eye-roll level: Olympic gold. Folks, Telegram is my digital graveyard, littered with the ghosts of “Elon Musks” I’ve collected since January 2025. Every one of them with a phone number, every one claiming, “I’m the real deal!” Spoiler: Not a single one was.
When I shut down the Telegram pitch, he pivots to WhatsApp. Fine, I’ve got a second number for that—I’m not handing out my main one like it’s candy! By now, that second number is a full-on Elon Musk museum with eight proud exhibits, all swearing they’re the Musk. Question for these guys: Don’t you have your own personality? Or is “Elon Musk” now code for “jobless wannabe”?
On WhatsApp, TeslaTroll drops this gem:
“Well, thank you for your reply so far, I create this private account so that i can have a chat with my fan one on one, and get to know them.”
Oh, how touching. Heart emojis incoming? Nope. Just the usual spiel: shady investment platforms, Bitcoin scams that’d make Google blush, or—my personal favorite—Tesla stocks that’ll “make me rich.” Yawn. When I hear “investment,” I’m already mapping my escape routes.
Then he asks for a photo. Excuse me? I’m not your Tinder match! Send a photo? I’d rather send a virus. I pivot, chatting about my love for music, my piano skills, even sharing a clip. I casually mention I “kinda” know Java—because I’m not spilling my full skill set to a rando. But TeslaTroll? Ignores it all. Instead, while I’m stuck in the hospital in late April, he hits me with: “Let me see you ??”
Uh, sorry, my body’s screaming “NO,” the hospital Wi-Fi is trash, and I’ve got better things to do than snap selfies for fake Musks. I fire back: “Wi-Fi’s a nightmare, bye.” His response? A single “?” Brilliant. Reading comprehension isn’t his thing either.
Fast forward to yesterday, May 11, 2025, for the showdown. I’m home, typing on my PC (my backup phone’s toast, so WhatsApp’s desktop-only now). I lay it out: no video chats unless it’s my actual family or friends. Oh, and my team on X? They’re pros at sniffing out frauds like him. Suddenly, he’s curious: “Your team?” Oh, the shock—a woman with a team? Sarcastic applause.
He doubles down, insisting he’s the real Elon. I’m thinking: Is your copy-paste key broken? Then comes the grand finale:
“Have you participated in my Tesla stock investment project?”
Blah blah, Tesla stocks, risks, brokerage accounts—I could puke. I shut it down: I’m not investing, especially not via X. If I invest, it’s in Germany, where I live, not some sketchy offshore site probably run from a basement in Narnia.
Today, I blocked this “ElonMusk” (shocker, that’s his name) with zero regrets. I’m done with X’s scammer parade. Why don’t these “Musks” get a real job instead of harassing German users? My theory: They’ve got a fetish for rejection.
My advice, dear readers: Stay sharp on X. At least 30% of the characters there are frauds, and they’re all named Elon Musk. Block freely, stay vigilant, and don’t let them play you for a fool!
Note: Everything I report, I can back up with proof!
Yours truly,
The Whistleblower, shaking her head at yet another fake
(remake from 05/2025)