OMG, These Fake Elons Are Driving Me Up the Wall! – The Sarcastic Remix

Dear readers of TheDarkSideOfX,

brace yourselves, because the Fake Elon plague has struck again, and I’m one step away from tossing my sanity into the nearest dumpster! On my blog (TheDarkSideOfX), I’ve ranted about these scammers before, but the last two days have been an absolute nightmare—and guess who’s to blame? Yup, the Fake Elons who just won’t leave me alone! So, buckle up for the latest episode of this madness, now with an extra dose of sarcasm and a whole lot of “Why me?!”

Yesterday: The Sulky Fake Elon

It all kicked off yesterday evening. I was chilling on the couch, a computer book in hand (no judgment, please!), daydreaming about diving into a computer to hunt down whatever’s slowing it down—nerdy, but soothing. Then, my phone jolted me awake—an unknown US number. And who was it? The worst Fake Elon of all time.

This guy had the audacity to demand a video call. I shut that down fast—I decide when and if I talk to anyone, thank you very much! And what does he do? He gets sulky! He whined that he’s tired of proving himself to me. He’s tired? Oh, please! That was it—blocked, chat forwarded to the authorities, and off to bed. My lovely dream was ruined, and I slept without a single one. Thanks, Fake Elon, you absolute hero.

Today: The Next Fake Elon Strikes

Barely awake this morning, the circus continued. This time on X. A new Fake Elon messaged me, despite my settings blocking direct messages. How do these creeps keep finding me? He started all formal:

“Hello, I want to speak with the owner of this account.”

I was on the subway and fired back:

“That’s me, but I’m out. What do you want from me?”

Did he answer my question? Nope. Just the usual Fake Elon nonsense:

“Thanks for your support in my dream and career, I’m happy to have you as a fan.”

Fan? As if! I set him straight:

“Fan? Nope, I don’t even follow the real Elon Musk!”

I made it crystal clear I’m not buying anything—no Bitcoin, no investments, nothing! And I repeated: “What do you want from me?” Of course, no reply. Instead, he asked where I was. I told him I’m at the bus station, dying to get home. I also mentioned that the police are in the loop and I’m blogging about yesterday’s Fake Elon. This madness has to stop!

Telegram? WhatsApp? No Way!!

This Fake Elon wouldn’t quit. He asked if I’m on Telegram. My response:

“Nope, Telegram’s a graveyard for Fake Elons. Never again!”

WhatsApp? Also a hard pass:

“WhatsApp’s for family and close friends only. Why not answer my questions here?”

Finally, I snapped:

“Is the question too hard? What do you want from me? I know you’re not the real Elon. The real Elon would use @elonmusk.”

I laid it out plain and simple: I’ve got nothing to lose. Everything I collect on these scammers goes to the police—or, if he contacts me with his real account, to the real Elon Musk. I trust no one anymore!

The Straw That Broke the Camel’s Back

And then he had the nerve to ask what I wanted to tell him. Seriously? I’d asked three times what he wanted from me! He claimed he’s too busy. I shot back:

“I’m busy too—busy waiting for answers that never come!”

Honestly, why me? I’m just an ordinary woman in Germany. Why do these people pretend to be Elon Musk? Don’t they have their own personalities? And as if that’s not enough: Last weekend, Fake Elons tried to hack my VPN. I pulled the plug, and they even admitted to installing hijackers. What is wrong with these people?

Conclusion: This Fake Elon Earned a Blog Post

Congrats, latest Fake Elon—you’re now blog material! I’ll keep fighting and exposing these scammers. If you’ve had similar experiences, drop them in the comments. And if the real Elon Musk reads this: Please, help me stop this plague!

Stay tuned—this story’s far from over.

Your Whistleblower on X

#FakeElon #ScamAlert

Comments

Popular posts from this blog