🙄 My April Story in May – Or: Another Fake Elon to Roll Your Eyes At 🙄

Buckle up, folks, because it’s about to get ridiculous.

Back in April, when I thought the world could chill for a hot second, I got a message from – you guessed it – a Fake Elon.

One of those scammers who think I’ve got “Scam Me!” tattooed on my forehead.

This guy claimed he had to talk to me. Sure, because I’ve got nothing else going on, right? I ignored him. The end? Nope.

Yesterday, the next act of this low-budget soap opera dropped. Ping.

A new message from our wannabe Musk.

[Image 1: Description]
A screenshot of a messenger chat, probably from an account with a stolen Elon Musk profile pic (think sunglasses and Tesla vibes). The text reads: “Möchtest du mich gern treffen.” No question mark, no manners, just pure audacity. The spelling screams “scammer using Google Translate.”

My brain? A giant, flashing question mark. What’s this nonsense now? Seriously, can’t these Fake Elons pester someone else? I’m barely keeping up with my blog, and now this? I was this close to yeeting my laptop out the window. But wait, it gets better. Or dumber.

The guy doubled down with this gem:

[Image 2: Description]
Another screenshot with two messages from Fake Elon, dated 02.05.2025, 09:24. He writes: “Just get a steam card I will make an arrangement to come pick you up” and then: “That’s my membership card.” The text is a mess of random capitalization, like he typed it in a moving elevator. Plus an emoji that’s desperately begging for trust.

Yeah, right. The great Elon Musk, rocket genius and billionaire, wants me to buy him a Steam gift card. For – hold onto your hats – €3,400! Because that’s totally legit. He’ll swing by to pick me up, probably in his imaginary private jet from Absurdistan. He called it a “Member Texla Card” that supposedly costs €3,400 – but let’s be real, that’s a complete scam. I looked it up: Steam cards in Germany only come in amounts like €20, €50, or €100, and there’s no such thing as a “Texla Card.” A real Tesla Owners Club membership in Germany costs at most €240, including fees. €3,400? This guy’s dreaming! But one thing’s for sure: This Fake Elon just burned through my last nerve with his Steam card shtick.

So, I fired back. Polite? Nah.

[Image 3: Description]
A screenshot of my reply from 02.05.2025, 10:17. I write: “No! Not Steamcards again. I’m not going to let myself be fooled with Steamcards anymore… the alleged Interpol wanted them too! I consider this request fake! And honestly! Where do you live? In Absurdistan?” Plus an arms-crossed emoji, because I’m so done.

And what does this guy do? He keeps going:

[Image 4: Description]
A screenshot of his reply from 02.05.2025, 10:19. He writes: “With a good medication and a free jet just get a membership card that’s all you need leave the rest for my team then you will believe I was all legit.” The message is a grammatical trainwreck, like a bot mashed up three languages. Plus a smug smiley that nearly made me fall off my chair laughing.

Hold up, what? A “free jet” and a “membership card,” and suddenly I’m on Team Musk? Hello, we live in Germany, not Absurdistan!

Our medicine’s pretty great here too, when doctors do their job and insurance pays up. Thanks for the tip, Fake Elon. I called my friend, who, by the way, also got hit up by this clown. He asked if she wanted to meet him. Her answer? A hard no. We laughed, but honestly? This isn’t funny anymore.

My takeaway: The real Elon would never pull this crap. He’d be chilling in his factory, snapping a selfie with a robot, and posting it on X. He’s got better things to do than beg nobodies like me for Steam cards.

So, dear Fake Elons: Find a new hobby.

I’m out. And if you try again, just know – I’ve got screenshots and zero patience.